You may wish to checkout a support group for those who are or have been abused. I myself am a member & you will find it a very warm & friendly group. Tell them Stephen from The Shopper's Market sent you. The group is Garden of Hope

So why do I blame myself? That is a huge question with many reasons. I too blamed myself & there are still times that I do. I blamed myself when I was late home from school because the bus had broken down & he beat me. I blamed myself when I didn't fight hard enough to stop the sexual abuse or when I just let it happen. I blamed myself when I had a nightmare & woke up screaming & was beaten. We all blame ourselves because we think we should have done this or done that, or said this or that. The simple fact is there is only one person to blame for any form of abuse, & that is the person doing the abusing.

"But I should have been good," "If I had dome what I was told," " They said I was bad so I must have been," "They said I was beautiful & liked touching me," "They said they loved me & couldn't help playing with me." No way. There are many reasons someone says it is your fault & that is why they hit you or touch you. I say it again they choose to do it. So what if you were naughty, does that really mean you deserved to be beaten? You are or were a beautiful child, does that mean they had a right to touch you, make you do things, do things to you? No it doesn't. Many children are naughty but don't get beaten for it. All children are beautiful but must do not get sexually abused. Men & women are handsome & beautiful but don't get raped. Abuse is abuse, & is one of the most distressing things to happened to anyone & can have lasting affects

If you are being abused now you can stop it. Whether you are a child or an adult. Whether it is physical, sexual, mental or emotional abuse. It can stop. If you are a child you may think there is no one to ask for help, or your abuser/s may have told you that if you say anything you will not be believed or they will blame you. Let me tell you now that it is not true at all, take it from someone who knows what you are going through, someone who has been through it. There are many places you can turn to. You can see the links on abuse from the link above, there are also links above to pages to the police & to help protect yourself from them. You can tell a teacher, you can phone a children's abuse helpline, you can tell a family member you trust, you can even call the police. These people will believe you & will want to help you, they want it to stop too, they want you to be safe, be free, be happy. Just because the person who is hurting you says you will not be believed doesn't mean they are right. They are saying that because they are scared, yes scared. Scared you will tell someone, scared they will not be able to hurt you, scared they will get into trouble. Think about it, what they are doing is wrong, if it was right then I would not have created this page to help you. If they were telling the truth they wouldn't be so bad to you, they would be nice & not hurt you.

It is scary to ask someone, isn't it? Yes I know it is, but so is getting hurt. You want it to stop, it can stop, you can be free, you can be safe, you can be happy

Again you are not to blame for this. You too can stop it. It isn't easy but you have options to get away, or to get them arrested. There are groups & organisations who will help you either get away or have them charged. I am not saying to will be easy for you, it wasn't for us either. You can use the links above to go to my other pages which have links to police, abuse sites, groups & agencies that will help you through this.

Only you can end this, only you can stop it, only you can free yourself from this abuse. If you take the first step & seek help then others will help you through it, will help you deal with the police & courts, or if you prefer help you find a safe place away from the abuse where you can start again & be happy